The Importance of Positive Mental Health

For most of my life, I have struggled with my relationship with food and disordered eating habits, always struggling with my weight and trying to figure out how “normal” people eat. About five years ago, I decided to take advantage of a work-provided benefit and began working with a health coach. We would meet weekly to talk about nutrition and diet, and she would share information on healthy eating habits and help me set goals. After a lifetime of dieting, most of this information was not new to me, but as we spoke, she was able to point out emotional eating patterns I had failed to recognize. Remembering the old saying, “It’s not what you are eating but what is eating you,” I realized that if I wanted to tackle this once and for all, I needed to develop a healthier relationship with food and would need a therapist to help me do it. With a “New Year, New Me” enthusiasm, I made an appointment with an outside therapist in eager anticipation of the changes I could make in my thinking.

I found out that year that life-changing moments have a way of surprising us when we least expect them. I got a call from my father a few days after making my appointment (a Friday morning when I was in a virtual meeting — it’s burned into my memory). My mother had died, and I needed to come back to Texas for the funeral. The next few days were a whirlwind of grief, pain, and shock as my family and I struggled to navigate our new reality without the one person we always turned to for strength. It became hard to think, but when I could I felt like I was in an existential crisis realizing everyone I loved would one day die also. My upcoming therapist appointment was pretty much forgotten until I got a text reminding me it was coming up. I thought about canceling it as we would be on the drive back home after the funeral during the appointment time. I couldn’t quite do it though as I realized that if there was ever a time in my life when I needed some support, this was it. A few days later, in the parking lot of an Idaho truck stop in January, I spoke with my new therapist about my grief and sadness. At that moment in time, it was exactly the support and sounding board I needed to get through a difficult time. In the coming months as we spoke more, she shared resources and tools that would help me navigate my emotions and regain balance.

Reducing the Stigma Associated With Seeking Help

Too often asking for help or seeking professional support is considered negative when instead it should be recognized as an act of strength and insight. Facing ourselves and our needs with courage allows us to develop into better people. We can live more authentically and be a happier and healthier version of ourselves. Positive mental health also enables us to have kinder, more supportive relationships with family and friends — relationships that benefit from our love of self and the personal insights we have gained.

Additional Tools for Positive Mental Health

Here are some additional ideas and tools for supporting positive mental health and balance that I have found helpful.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: CBT techniques can be found easily on the internet and can be very helpful in supporting positive mental health. One of my favorite tools that I still reference daily is a set of CBT coping cards I got from Etsy. They list different cognitive distortions to support recognizing them (like catastrophizing or jumping to conclusions), give breathing techniques to use, and offer helpful coping strategies.

Self-Care: It is too easy, especially I think for women, to get caught up in taking care of others and not taking care of themselves. Schedule and prioritize taking time to do the things you love and that make you feel good. You don’t have to feel guilty for doing something for yourself.  The more selfish, the better. 🙂

Volunteerism: Sometimes when I am too in my head and anxious, I realize that helping other people by volunteering can move me into a better mind set. By spending some time focused on other people, I have a better perspective on myself and my problems.

Family Support: One of the best ways I have for calming down is talking to my partner. Talking to someone I love and trust who will hear me out and calm me down — or tell me I’m wrong — is invaluable to me. Reciprocating that as well when he needs support is important as well. 

Exercise: Taking my dogs for a walk or taking a yoga class on my phone is another way I help manage my emotions. Forcing myself to stop living in my head and focusing on my physical health has always been beneficial for me. I can enter a flow state that is very relaxing.

Meditation and Breathing Practices: I have a couple of mindfulness and meditation apps on my phone that I try to prioritize using daily. Fifteen minutes seems a lot longer than it should some days, but I never regret taking that time to breathe and relax.

Spiritual Practice: While not everyone’s priority or belief, I believe that I gain my greatest balance nowadays from spiritual practice. Daily reading and prayer offer me peace and stillness in what is a very hectic world.

The Language We Use to Describe Mental Health

One of the easiest ways we can all help in destigmatizing mental health and folks seeking support is by being mindful of how we speak and refer to mental health conditions and experiences. Careless words and descriptors can do a lot of damage and make people feel less than or othered. Some preferred terms and kind guidance from the CDC follow:

“Instead of this…

• Mentally ill
• Crazy
• Insane
• Mental defect
• Suffers from or is afflicted with [condition]
• Asylum

Try this…

• People with a mental or behavioral health condition
• People with a pre-existing mental health or behavioral health condition
• People with a diagnosed mental health or behavioral health condition
• Psychiatric hospital/facility

Notes:

• Organizations may use the terms “mental health condition,” “mental illness,” and “mental health disorder” interchangeably. The term “mental health condition” is preferred by CDC when communicating with the public. “Mental health disorder” may be used by researchers or for clinical use.
• “Behavioral health” is an umbrella term that encompasses a number of distinct but related subtopics. These include psychological distress, mental health conditions, suicidal ideation or suicide attempts, and substance use or substance use disorders.
• Specific mental health conditions can be named whenever possible (for example, when not referring to people with different mental health conditions collectively). Researchers and health care professionals use guidelines in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to diagnose mental health conditions. For example, consider:
  • Person with depression
  • People with obsessive-compulsive disorder
• When referring to people who are experiencing symptoms (for example, depression, anxiety, etc.) or other forms of mental distress but a mental health condition has not been diagnosed or the symptoms may not reach a clinical threshold, consider:
  • People experiencing mental distress
  • Persons experiencing crisis or trauma
  • Persons experiencing persistent high stress or anxiety”

Resources and Support

Another powerful way that people can help support family and friends who may be struggling is to become familiar with the signs that may indicate a loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis. From NAMI, on signs and symptoms:

“Each illness has its own symptoms, but common signs of mental illness in adults and adolescents can include the following:

• Excessive worrying or fear
• Feeling excessively sad or low
• Confused thinking or problems concentrating and learning.
• Extreme mood changes, including uncontrollable “highs” or feelings of euphoria.
• Prolonged or strong feelings of irritability or anger
• Avoiding friends and social activities
• Difficulties understanding or relating to other people.
• Changes in sleeping habits or feeling tired and low energy.
• Changes in eating habits such as increased hunger or lack of appetite
• Changes in sex drive
• Difficulty perceiving reality (delusions or hallucinations, in which a person experiences and senses things that don’t exist in objective reality)
• Inability to perceive changes in one’s own feelings, behavior or personality (”lack of insight” or anosognosia)
• Overuse of substances like alcohol or drugs
• Multiple physical ailments without obvious causes (such as headaches, stomach aches, vague and ongoing “aches and pains”)
• Thinking about suicide
• Inability to carry out daily activities or handle daily problems and stress.
• An intense fear of weight gain or concern with appearance”

NAMI
CDC’s Mental Health Resources
NIMH

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