Managing male mental health during life changes

Male mental health challenges vary at different stages of life as men face transitions, says Marcus Cheung with the Calgary Counselling Centre and Counselling Alberta. 

“Men go through different difficulties at different stages of life, and those difficulties are unique depending on the life situation.” 

November traditionally focuses on male mental health. Cheung lists life transitions like graduating from school, getting a job, relationships as they seek a life partner, parenting and fatherhood, and life in their 40s and 50s. These changes go along with the physical transition as men grow older. 

Cheung discusses the signs to look out for if a man is not managing life changes well. 

“How are men responding to these situations? Often, men struggle in isolation and solitude. When it comes to men struggling with mental or emotional health, they are usually not the first ones to seek help. A lot of this has to do with what it means to be a man traditionally in some of society’s messages that have been given to men. And really challenging the notion of being a man when we face these issues.” 

When people are not feeling well, especially with uncertainty and they are really struggling and having physical symptoms like headaches, heart racing, sore muscles, and stomach pain then it’s time to seek help, says the counsellor. 

Cheung returns to the traditional messaging that men receive from a young age about being tough and not showing emotion, weakness, or vulnerability. 

“In my personal opinion, there’s not enough room in our society for men to even discuss some of the mental health challenges. And we have to pay attention to the responses that we give to men. Are we discouraging them or are we really inviting them to talk about their struggles?” 

Cheung sees how society responds to men talking about their issues as playing a very important role. 

“I think as a community, we need to continue to work really hard on men to encourage them that it’s okay to seek help. It’s okay to struggle. You don’t have to do this alone.” 

Cheung concludes by saying don’t tell the men around you that they have a problem, and they should see a counsellor. That’s not the way to go. 

“Simply offer them a space to talk. Say you are noticing some differences with them recently. Ask them if they need help. Rather than getting them to admit an issue, we have to be a bit more invitational.” 

Support is available online and in person at Counselling Alberta and the Calgary Counselling Centre.